Purely 22

So, I have been twenty-two for roughly a month now. While totally dramatic, I told many I might as well have turned eighty-two. You know, twenty-one has this young, fun sound, but as soon as you turn the corner you smack into adulthood.

Regardless, I believe it's time to share a part of me that's been kept hush. It's a story of yearning, sacrifice, and purity. One of a young girl vowing with her best friend to "wait to date." Now, before you check out on me, this is not one of those "To My Future Husband" sappy, love posts. (If you enjoy writing or reading those, no shame. Bless you, they're sweet.) This just isn't that tale.

In fact, this is one radically different than most. To begin I need to introduce you to eleven year old Cassidy. Picture the sassiest, loudest, strangest adolescent you know and you're getting there. Sprinkle in some wisdom beyond her years, and a hunger for the sweet Jesus she was just beginning to know. Then, top it off with this immovable, internal drive to be truly different than anyone she knew, and bingo!

This is the girl that made such a promise in her best friend's basement. Somehow in the midst of boy talk fantasy and dreamy Taylor Swift boyfriend feels, wisdom himself met us. Which led us to agree we wouldn't date until we really felt we had met the one we were meant to do life with. Little did I know how much that pinky promise would shape my life.

Several years down the road my parents placed a purity ring upon my left ring finger which has remained there since. Well kinda, I swopped it for one with a little more C. Park funk a couple years later. But, as I hear the click, click, clicking of my typing keys, and glance down as I incorrectly hit letters, I see that cross and "awake my soul" stamped on my ring finger.

Fun fact, when Cassidy is committed to something, she's all in. Raised with a "do it right, or don't do it" attitude bred into my blood, I have been called "hardheaded" more times than I can count. I personally prefer, determined. You know, potato/ "po-tah-toe." So what started as an innocent commitment to uphold my end of the vow, quickly turned into part of who I was. To be transparent, I can't say I always had authentic motives or gently explained myself to those who took interest in me.

However, I am thankful for that rotten, hardheaded eleven year old decision of mine. Because of it, I have never had to experience the heartbreak I've walked through with friends, regret impulsive, enticing decisions, or carry shame often associated with relationships that end up in shambles.

This also means I am twenty-two years old, and I have never been on a formal date, held a boy's hand (unless you count those prayer circles. Praise Jesus!), or had a Valentine. I've never been able to post countless selfies with a boyfriend, taken said man to meet the family, received spontaneous flowers, or experienced a kiss. And you guessed it, I'm still "Virgin Mary."

When I share the "never have I evers" they're usually followed by comments like, "You're joking, right?" "YOU"VE NEVER KISSED A BOY!?" "Howwwww?" and we can't forget the 'ole "You're like the real life Mother Teresa." Which are then followed by confused faces, more questioning, and a sarcastic "good luck with that" nod to seal the deal. While most are shocked, I have also received a fair share of very uplifting and inspiring feedback.

It's plain and simple to see the lack, so I choose to focus on the growth. I have been able give my otherwise taken time and attention to other things, had several opportunities to encourage young girls, and gained some of the most precious, valued friendships.

However, the question that still remains is why? Why would one willingly sign onto the single train for what seems like life? I used to quickly answer with something about how I didn't understand the point of relationships as abundant as the sand, and hid behind a value in which the end goal of dating should be marriage, rather than occasional free food, a guaranteed plus one, or touchy feelies. Both which still stand true. However, in my growing I've realized two greater, expanding truths.

First, I needed to be filled the love of God, and second, learn how to love myself. Primarily, I had to experience and come know the Father's love. While, this is still a daily process, my understanding of Poppa's love has sure come a long way. You see, it's hard to understand what the love of God is when you haven't experienced it personally. Plus, how can one effectively enter into a relationship without a clear vision of love? If our lens of love is strictly limited by what we experience in relationships on the Earth, we are only skimming the surface of love. Before we engage in relationships with others, it is vital we are familiar with God's love. This will help us value and love others the way they are meant to be loved on.

Subsequently, I've spent the last twenty-two years learning to love myself. Actually, it's not selfish, it's necessary for all of us. We're challenged to love others in the same way we love ourselves. While in theory that sounds easy-peasy, in reality, this is where many of us fall short. Thus, the door of insecurity creeps open to a spiraling staircase of judgement, degrading, and hurt. It's vital we love us just they way we are, and are honest with our shortcomings. Then, carefully work to improve those things...we all got 'em! If I don't like what I see, it's not fair or wise that I make someone else attempt to put up with me, or better yet, be in relationship with me.

So, allow the perfect, sweet, dripping love of God to pour into your heart, overflow onto those around you, and change your perception of yourself. As I'm currently in a season continuing to develop in these two areas of life I thought it was the perfect time to finally share this part of my story. My desire is to champion "all the single ladies," and inspire those who have yet to see the fruit of decade old promises. Hang tight, sweet ones, The Promise Keeper has failed to let one pinky swear slip from his memory yet.



"Love others as well as you love yourself." 

Mark 12:31 (MSG)